Dating in 2024: Can AI Find Your Perfect Match?

Dating apps are the most popular in the US based on the number of users. According to a Forbes survey, these apps are the top place where people in America find dates, followed by other ways like connections through mutual friends or meeting people at concerts and festivals. The picture looks similar in Japan, where one in four married adults under 40 found their partners through dating apps. 

The most used dating app in the world is Tinder, with more than 6.1 million monthly downloads and over 75 million monthly active users. Other popular apps include Bumble, Badoo, and Hinge. Typically, these apps offer free options along with paid features, such as higher visibility in search results or the ability to see who liked your profile. Features and functionalities vary for each app.

For example, on Tinder, it doesn’t matter who sends the first message after matching, while on Bumble, conversations in heterosexual matches must be initiated by women to give them more control over the messaging. Bumble’s approach lets women make the first move to avoid pressure and unwanted messages. If the woman doesn’t initiate contact within 24 hours, the match expires. However, with the later addition of the “Opening Moves” feature, female users can add questions to their profiles for others to respond to, reducing the stress of initiating contact. This makes it possible for women to learn more about the person before sending the initial message.   

Like Tinder and Bumble, Badoo also uses swipe-based matching. However, in addition to standard swiping, it offers the “Encounters” game, where users swipe quickly, and a match is made when both swipe right on each other during the game. Hinge, on the other hand, matches users through profile interactions, including likes and comments, rather than swiping.

Alongside global dating apps, there are local ones tailored to the cultural specifics of different groups, such as Muzz for single Muslims, Momo for Chinese users, and Boo for Ukrainians.

The quest for love is ever-changing. Now, besides people, bots can take part in it too.  In 2020, media reports covered the story of Robert Winters, a UX design strategist from Belgium, who used a bot to talk to hundreds of women on Tinder simultaneously. Winters revealed that at one point, the bot was handling around 200 conversations before Tinder’s anti-spam algorithms flagged it and banned his account. For his experiment, Winters used a bot named Bernie AI (formerly Tinderbox), which can be trained to understand what type of date a person is looking for and handle the swiping instead of the user. The bot can also be programmed to hold conversations. Other bots are also available online, while people with programming skills can create their own tools from scratch. 

Despite the happy ending of this story, the use of bots raises concerns as they make conversations unnatural. On top of that, a person talking with a bot may end up disappointed upon realizing that it is not a human on the other side of the screen. Dating apps generally have anti-bot policies, but sometimes the programs can bypass detection. In Winters’ case, Tinder detected unusual behavior when he didn’t turn off the bot, which was rapidly swiping and talking to matches.  

There are several tips to help users avoid talking to a bot on a dating app. First, pay attention to the speed of responses. Instant replies to every message can be a sign. Generic, irrelevant, or repetitive responses are also red flags. If you notice something suspicious, ask questions that require detailed answers, as bots may struggle to provide them. Another option is to invite the person to a video or audio call; bots will likely reject this invitation. If you suspect you’re talking to a bot, report the account and let the app handle the verification.  

Dating assistants are a big trend in online dating, both in the form of built-in features or separate apps. These assistants take on the role of coaches who help users with various types of recommendations. For example, Tinder announced its Photo Selector tool, in July 2023, aiming to help users pick better photos for their profiles. This feature is part of the company's overall policy of offering dating assistance services. Hinge, Bumble, and Grindr have also announced plans to build assistance tools.

Continuous automation can reach a point where you no longer need to go on a date: an AI bot will do that for you like in  Black Mirror’s “Hang the DJ” episode. To avoid spoilers, we’ll just mention that in the episode, characters are paired by an AI program that decides when they will meet and how long their relationship will last.

In an interview with Bloomberg, Bumble founder and executive chair Whitney Wolfe Herd said in the near future people can talk to AI concierges about their insecurities which will show support and provide tips for better communication with others.

Both online and offline, modern love comes with its complexities. You may never know if the person you’ve met and started talking to is taking advice from friends, random social media videos, or AI assistants on how to communicate or behave. In today’s busy world, AI can act as Cupid’s arrow, helping you find a match quickly. However, relying solely on technology or a person for all your dating decisions may not be ideal, no matter how good their recommendations are. Dating apps have helped many couples meet, but as automation increases, dating is starting to feel more like a game, where winners are those whose digital matches turn out to be a perfect fit in real life as well.